Friday, December 28, 2007

Chinese Water Torture

I was on my short happy hiatus from blogging to gear up for a whole new year, but I have to post a little rant today. Please explain to me why this HCG hormone so wants to stay in my body as long as it possibly can and yet a pregnancy wants to vanish from me before I can even blink? My beta today was around 70. Five weeks after my miscarriage I am still not at zero. Even after bleeding out my eye balls I am still waiting for this miscarriage cycle to be over. Yes, I was warned by the nurses and doctors that it could take 4 to 6 weeks to resolve, but I had convinced myself that Christmas would bring zero to me. Let me also add a little context here. I'll save the full war story of my ectopic for a later post, but it's good to mention that it took 15 weeks, yes 15 weeks, for my beta to get to zero after that whole affair. I was sure I would be spared this time around. So I am not being impatient and whiny, well yes I sort of am, but it must be known that I've been a victim of this Jekyll and Hyde HCG before. Drip, drip, drip. Every beta week I am reminded of the Chinese water torture method that slowly makes the prisoner go insane. 


Amy said...

Complain away! You have been through so much! I can't imagine how frustrated you must be!!!!

I certainly hope you start out the new year at zero and have your plan for your next IVF!

Tracy said...

You have a right to be impatient and whiney. It sucks.

I hope 2008 brings you better luck.

luna said...

ugh, that does suck. hope you can return to "normal" soon. ~luna