Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day Ten

The eagle has landed. I am now at my destination and must entertain myself for 10 days or longer until this baby is born. If you thought the two week wait was long, this seems like eons. A. is feeling a little more uncomfortable and her dilation and effacement are progressing but nothing signaling it's labor time. So I just have to sit back and enjoy the ride.

In order to kill time, I've decided that this ten day countdown should be a time of reflection. When starting this blog, my mission was to write about how I deal with life as an infertile. Is there a way of being infertile with a little panache, depth, perspective and humor? I still believe whole-heartedly that though it is clear there is an art to getting pregnant, there is equally an art to being infertile. So I will unveil over these finals days my:


10. Arm Yourself with Information, but Accept the Unanswerable.
When I so naively started trying to conceive at age 34, I knew deep down that this could possibly not work. I was aware of age issues, but my understanding of infertility was pathetic. I truly thought there was just one test that you took that determined if you were infertile or not. Instead of going to an RE right away, I waited a year with my regular OBGYN and didn't really shop around. I think all of us veterans know now that there are so many fertility doctors and so many questions that you don't really know up from down when you start. Ask a lot of questions. Make sure all your choices are clear. But even though there are so many times we ask- WHY? WHY? WHY? - there are unfortunate people like myself who never really got any answers or concrete diagnosis from her doctors. Just like the serenity prayer says,

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.


FET Accompli said...

So true. I was pretty naive at first as well - I just thought you could have a kid pretty much whenever...

luna said...

counting down with you, tabi. so very exciting!