Wednesday, January 20, 2010
TOP TEN WAYS TO PRACTICE THE ART OF BEING INFERTILE:
10. Arm Yourself with Information, but Accept the Unanswerable.
9. Find Other Infertiles.
Misery loves company- right? Well, it's so much more than that when you really look at the other women you have met along this journey. Until I started going on bulletin boards and blogging, I was the only one in my world who was infertile. Friends and family were popping out babies left and right and I wanted to die. When I found other women struggling, going through IVF cycles, considering all sort of crazy stuff like donor egg and surrogacy, I found a world that I belonged in. Suddenly complete strangers were hearing my most intimate thoughts. Women in New York were bold enough to ask me out for coffee. We were instantly connected. The bond runs deep.
Though the infertile club membership is not a choice, it's forced upon us, embrace it. Other infertile people know what the hell to say to you. They know how to comfort. They know the mountain of stress you are undergoing. The friends I have made through this journey are like no other. The mothers who have gone through infertility are the first people on my list I want to spend mommy time with. In a different kind of world the infertile club wouldn't be seen as the crappy coach seats while our peers lived it up in first class. It wouldn't make people feel like they have to be covert, ashamed, and ostracized. In my world, being a card carrying member of the infertiles would give you pride because the way I see it, if you are infertile than you are a survivor. Things didn't come easy to you and you fought your way through it. It represents a kind of sisterhood there should be among all women, instead of women judging women.