Just as I was contemplating my battle with time in the last post, I realized it's been one whole year since I started my blog. Yes, it's my blogiversary! As I created my video "year in review," I see that when and where I began this blog is in some ways exactly the same as now, in that I have no baby, but in other ways completely different. I have more losses behind me. I have endured more disappointment and more fears come true. But I also have come to see myself as courageous. I have started on a new track with surrogacy and I feel that I am on the final road. It's close. Whatever this conclusion is, it's close. I don't kid myself anymore in thinking that the next IVF will work on me. That dangling carrot has been cut and I now seek greener pastures with third party help. Yes, H-E-L-P. Bringing in a gestational carrier and potentially an egg donor or adoption is the last phase of this journey and I believe that one of these will be my answer.
So I thank all of you who have followed me over this year and continue to support me on this next cycle with my gestational carrier. Whereas last year I bitterly made IVF Christmas cards, [some of my favorites below:]
this year I've been able put aside some bitterness and look forward to 2009. I look forward to it because I know in my heart that this journey is going to end. I won't beat a dead horse. We will move on quickly to the next option if it doesn't work. I am just keeping my eye on the end, the finish line, the credit roll. On that note, I am wishing everyone a joyous and IVF stress free holiday and a blessed new year!
17 comments:
Wow! That was just absolutely wonderful! Happy Blogiversary!!
tabi, this is so very awesome! you are so right. it has been such a year. you sound determined and inspired -- I love it, love the video, love your blog. happy blogoversary!
Tabi I LOVE your year in review video!!! Not that you had to endure such things, but the way you put that together was absolutely awesome. I love your blog and I look forward to another year of great posts and most of all, seeing you cross the finish line!!
Fantastic video, TABI! What a way to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
I wish you happy holidays, loves of warmth and love, and hope for good things to come in 2009.
Happy Blogiversary! It made such a huge difference in my outlook when I realized that we were nearing the end of this journey through IF and the options we would consider. It helped knowing that there was only so much more we would do and that the endless years of waiting and spinning our wheels would end. It's nice to be able to have that shift.
This was AWESOME! I love love love the song.
I'm sorry you had to make it, without the happy ending, but that is yet to come.
It's funny, we make little video montages often, and we've been saving up all our IVF and surgery footage, hoping to compile them. But since the elusive BFP has yet to happen, we haven't made the video yet. But maybe I will take a cue from you and go ahead and make one "our journey so far" type thing, just to get it all out. Plus, people need to see me getting those shots :)
Hoping 2009 is your year (well, and mine, too :)
Although I'm so sorry for all that you've been through, I loved the way you were able to refashion those experiences into such a fantastic video!
Happy blogoversary, Tabi!
i love your movie!!! happy blogiversary!
i look forward to reading your new adventures. i admire your strength and courage to go on.
i'm so glad that you've found something to look forward to in 2009!
Love the movie. And I speak for both, nay all, of us when I say I hope there's not a double feature. Let the madnesss end!
(all that aside, I've loved your blog since day one. happy blogoversary)
happy 1 year anniversary!! and wow super video! good job!
I love how you are looking forward to 2009, cause I believe you are right, next year you will be getting to the credits, one way or another :)
wow!! You are so creative! I love the video! I don't love the pain behind it of course, but I love the creative outlet. Happy blogiversary, and I just know that video is going to look totally different next year at this time. :)
How talented you are! That is an amazing way to round up your (shitty) year.
I', sorry it has been so difficult but I really hope next year's review will be altogether different.
Tabi, that was just fabulous. I loved it.
I love your video. I hope the best for you in 2009.
Happy Blogiversary! Love Love Love the video!
Tashida from FF
Happy Blogiversary! I'm just now catching up on your blog. :)
I need to find renewed hope myself but finding it hard.
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