Tuesday, March 2, 2010

One month of motherhood

Today Mira is one month old and I see now why everyone says it's all a blur in the beginning. In some ways it seems like eons since she was born and other ways it feels like it just happened last week. Time is moving in its usual stealth way. I suppose that's what it's always going to be like as we watch our kids grow.

The one thing I can say for sure is all the horror stories of infant care are just "horror" in the fictional sense. As I suspected, infertility is way more of a horror show than any crying, pooping, and lack of sleep. Not to say this is all so easy but in no way is it as bad or as crazy as I was warned. Perhaps I will feel differently in a few months, but for now I keep feeling like the luckiest person.

When I think of how many steps and how many people it took to make our baby, I feel more certain that she should be very proud of her birth story. When your child is born via surrogacy or donor, we as parents ponder a lot about if, when, and how we will tell them. I have had my share of panic attacks about how am I going to tell her. How many "nice ladies" do I have to explain to her for Christ's sake? But as I see her thriving and growing, I think more than ever that her birth story will instill strength, not shame or alienation. I hope as a young adult and eventually as a grown woman she will carry that with her. We can truly tell her she was a miracle and that sometimes the more complicated the recipe the more delicious the result.

8 comments:

Sue said...

See? I told you it wasn't that bad! Glad to hear you are all doing well.

lastchanceivf said...

Yay yay yay! And can I say, that I adore her name!

Lisa said...

So happy to see your updates. Congratulations, mama!

—Lisa from Infertile Ground

Shinejil said...

Yep, IF sucks way, way more than the first weeks, which are hard. But hard for a good reason, and with lots of perks.

And guess what? It only gets better! With some days when it's a bit worse. But the general trend is up.

Holly said...

WOW, it's been a month all ready? That DID fly by.

Glad you are so happy!

JellyBelly said...

Can't believe that she's already a month old! Wow!!!

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Dora said...

"As I suspected, infertility is way more of a horror show than any crying, pooping, and lack of sleep."

Hell, yes!!!

Oh, Tabi, I love, love, love your last paragraph! So beautiful and so true. Kisses to Mira from another NYC donor mama.