Monday, November 10, 2008

I'm matched!!!!!!!!!!

Dare I say it? It looks like I've found a partner in crime for this IVF circus. Not to slight my dear hubby, but you know what I mean - I've found my surrogate match!! How do you even describe this feeling? 

So did fireworks go off? Did I start bawling? Did we join hands in a jig together? Not quite. I can only describe it as both surreal and sublime. I was of course terribly nervous, but we had seen their profile and they looked so sweet and nice that I knew it would never be unpleasant. The question was whether that chemistry would be there and could she put me at ease with this insane road we are beginning? Could I imagine this woman carrying my baby and feel open and comfortable working with her for those intense 9 months? Could I see myself wanting to stay in touch afterwards? 

Out of respect for privacy I'll refer to her as "A." and her husband as "L." In such a short span of time so much was accomplished. We went out to Chicago this past week for work, to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary, and witness the afterglow of an historic election. Timing was on our side that A. and L. live in Illinois and so the meeting could happen this week. The plan was to meet A. and L. for dinner at 6pm outside of Chicago. I wanted to give us a little over an hour to drive out to the restaurant since Chicago's rush hour would be awful and for once I didn't want to be late to a very important meal (my husband and I are chronically late for everything). But of course to our dismay the traffic was bumper to bumper and my nerves starting to flare up thinking - "Damn, they are going to think we aren't good planners and can't even get to dinner on time." We called and apologized for being delayed and I kept saying to myself, "Relax and drive. Relax and drive." We sped into the restaurant parking lot and walked in a half an hour late. A. and L. were patiently waiting for us at a table and there was immediate warmth. I just could tell this would be a nice night. We talked, laughed, joked around. It was lovely and easy. I can say with certainty that she is fabulous. She's warm, positive, sweet, a hard worker, and funny. She's got 3 beautiful kids and has done surrogacy successfully for two other couples so this would be her third time. I am truly in awe of her. What an amazing person to give this kind of gift. She described it as a true "high" for her to hand the baby over to the intended parents. She joked, "I guess there are worse things to be addicted to!"

So for someone like me who can be quite negative, I feel drunk with a faith in humanity. It's beautiful to think that someone could help me out in this way. I have never more needed an injection of A.'s positive attitude. It's hard after being burned so many times to try to get excited all over again. I thought maybe I would be overwhelmed by meeting A. and just lose it in front of her. But the main feeling was peace and happiness. There's a new hope and a huge step in the right direction. Whatever happens, I know I am a little tiny bit closer to getting my baby.  

So what does this all mean logistically? For starters in order to work with her I have to cycle in Chicago. This means a new clinic and RE for me, but the upside is that Illinois is one of the best states to work in because they are so surrogacy-friendly. Technically we are now entering in the contract phase where our lawyer draws up our surrogacy contract that we hopefully will both agree upon and sign. Once that happens we are officially partnered and ready to go! Except for some medical tests and some other logistics we aren't too bad off in terms of moving forward. If all goes well I could cycle with A. in February 2009! Though that sounds far away it really isn't given how the holiday season will fly by. We can get synched up in January and be ready for a February retrieval and transfer. Holy crap, it's time to get healthy again and start doing some egg calisthenics!

21 comments:

Melanie said...

You've just guaranteed yourself one fantabulous holiday season! I'm thrilled for you. To enter the new year with hope and optimism...priceless! Wonderful, wonderful, WONDERFUL news!

BB and MTB said...

De-lurking to wish you a huge CONGRATULATIONS! I can feel the excitement in your words, and I hope your miracle waits in Chicago and with A. Good luck!

Jaymee said...

I am so happy for you!! February is so close. Hope all goes well on the road ahead.

N said...

HOORAY!!!! CONGRATS! I'm so happy for you. February will be here before you know it. Isn't it so exciting?

alicia said...

AHHHHHHHHH!!! Congrats!! Ohh I am so thrilled for you! A sounds amazing and I am so glad you 2 have connected already! Wow Feb will be here in no time!!!

Shinejil said...

Wow, what great news, Tabi! Congrats! How cool that there are people like A out there!

Intending To Be Parents said...

Oh wow congrats on your match!! I'm so happy you are on your way! February will seriously be here in a blink with all those holidays between now and then - so thankfully you've got lots of distractions! :) I'm so excited for you!!

JellyBelly said...

what exciting news!!!!

best of luck and much happiness to you!

Caba said...

Cogratulations! February will be here before you know it! Hopefully your contract negotiations will go smoothly and easily. I am smack dab in the middle of a cycle where I am acting as a gestational carrier for my sister and her husband right now. I wish you all the luck in the world, and I'll be reading along!

luna said...

congrats, tabi! how awesome. chicago was truly the center of the universe this week.

of course wishing you all the best with the egg exercises.

peesticksandstones said...

"...drunk with a faith in humanity"

Is this you, TABI?! I LOVE it!

Missed you so much the other evening, but am so glad it was for such a good cause. What a time to celebrate, huh?

Big, big hugs and a resounding CONGRATS!

Kymberli said...

Many congratulations to you and your surrogate! I look forward to following your journey with A and L!

Dora said...

This is wonderful!

There really is a sense of peace when things just feel right.

CC said...

I'm so happy for you! A sounds great. I am also hopeful and full of faith that this time will be different.

Cassandra said...

Congratulations! That is wonderful news. Best wishes to all of you.

Lisa said...

This news is awesome! It sounds like you definitely clicked, and now you are on your way. These next couple of months will FLY!

-Lisa from infertileground

Ms Heathen said...

That's fantastic news, Tabi!

A sounds like a truly amazing woman - it must be great to have found someone with whom you felt such a strong connection.

Wishing you all the very best as you start your 'egg calisthenics'!

the Babychaser: said...

Oh my god, Tabi, this is so exciting!!! And haven't you heard? Hope has come out of the closet this fall--it's back in style!

I just finished reading your earlier post about the tightrope walking feeling like a spectacle. I'm so there. I didn't think anyone was judging me for trying IVF, but now that I'm still pushing for it, after all this time and all these failures, I do feel like they just think I'm crazy. (And sometimes I agree.)

I can't imagine a better scenario than the match you just described. Wow. Remember when your husband told you courage was a choice? Well, you've definitely chosen it. Congrats, girl.

Duck said...

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. i can't believe it, so excited for you, isn't it the most amazing feeling ever, It's just absolutly the greatest feeling.
AND looks like we may even be cycling around the same time (well I actually won't be doing anything but cheering from the side lines as it was a FET).... So let's keep in touch, I'll start my blog again soonish, maybe in the new year, so I can keep you posted.

tobacco brunette said...

Congratulations! I've been thinking of you over the last few months and hoping so much to see a post like this. It sounds like the meeting was wonderful and has really put you at ease and you're so right - with the holiday season beginning, February will be here before you know it.

Good luck!!! I'm really looking forward to following your journey.

Elizabeth said...

Congratulations! I'm so glad you are matched and that you will be able to cycle soon...February will be here in no time!